obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
