so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
