I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
