don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
