I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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