C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
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