i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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