playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I love you.
Bad choice
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
