I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
