And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
