Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
