I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
