I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
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