We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Randomize
