my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
