there's paper in my vomit.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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