Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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