Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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