No more Irish car bombs ever.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
