Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
