She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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