and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize