I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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