No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
