my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
