apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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