Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
