I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
At least life still wants to fuck me.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
