You're completely useless in the revolution.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
You are a genius and a whore.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
