I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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