So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
