i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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