We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
