I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Randomize
