Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
