so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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