what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
