I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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