you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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