Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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