we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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