Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize