Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't turn off my feet"
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize