The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
