So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
