there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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