an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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