i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
