3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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