people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize
