flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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