Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
one might say we're banned from that church
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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