You smell like stripper and shame
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
