It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
