Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
She's JV to your varsity
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Randomize
