It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
