So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the jesus of drinking
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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