I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
