Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
