first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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