I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
