I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
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