i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
