The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
