I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
