arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
